


Sorry that I lost our love

by DauntingSagas



Series: You were there in your armor [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Follows canon that we knew at the time of this episode, For that extra angst, Just replacing Peli with Reader at the end of the episode, allusions to sex, no beta we die like men, no happy ending, slightly more violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:35:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27800086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DauntingSagas/pseuds/DauntingSagas
Summary: A Mandalorian lands on Tatooine and you would like nothing more than to dig a hole and hide in it until he leaves. Too bad you work for Peli Motto and have no choice in the matter. Thankfully he leaves for a bounty but of course that’s when things go more than a little sideways.
Relationships: Din Djarin/Reader, Din Djarin/You
Series: You were there in your armor [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2036680
Comments: 2
Kudos: 55





	Sorry that I lost our love

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if I should add the Graphic Depictions of Violence tag, please. I couldn't decide and opted with with leaving it off but my idea of violence in fiction is skewed.

  
  


XXXX

The armor was new, all silver beskar but you would recognize that stance anywhere. You had grown up learning everything about him and vice-versa. There was a time when the two of you knew every inch of the other’s body, fumbling around in the dark together, twin blindfolds covering their eyes just in case the lights turned on. Yes, you used to know Din Djarin like the back of your hand. But then he had gone against Guild Code and they came after the Covert. Someone had pulled off your helmet before you could get them off of you and that was the end of that. 

The Armorer had been understanding but everyone knew the Creed, your helmet had been removed by someone other than your family. Not that you had any family. Once upon a time you had wished for it to be Din but now…

You had been able to get passage on a ship, got as far as Tatooine which still wasn’t far enough for you but you hadn’t been able to catch another ride yet. Rather than wallow in your sorrow, you found somewhere to work despite being utterly useless at everything outside of fighting. Peli Motto was a beacon of hope, had taken one look at you and taken you in as an employee. At first it was small things, cleaning up after the droids but eventually she began to trust you with a spanner. 

And now back to the present.

You didn’t know how much time had passed since that bounty hunter had damned you, when a familiar ship limped its way to the spaceport you had started to call home. You made yourself as scarce as you could as Peli went out to speak with the owner of the ship. You were close enough to hear what was being said but hid behind a piece of junk that even Peli couldn’t fix. 

“No droids.”

“It’ll cost ya more but fine,” Peli said before turning her head in the direction she had last seen you. “Starbird, get over here!”

Peli had given you the nickname when you told her you didn’t want to reveal your name to her, not because you couldn’t trust her but because you hadn’t heard someone say it in so long. Well...hadn’t heard someone other than Din but that would never happen again now. You had taken to wearing a scarf, covering your hair even though it wouldn’t matter, and you adjusted it as you walked over. It made you feel more secure, like you weren’t  _ dar’manda _ even if you knew the truth. He wouldn’t recognize you, had never seen you without your helmet and those nights didn’t count with the pitch black of the room. As long as you didn’t speak around him, you could help Peli fix his ship and he would be gone again. 

“Mando here doesn’t like droids so it’s just you and me fixing this rust bucket, got it?”

You nodded silently, ignoring the confused look your silence got you from Peli. The Mandalorian, the one you thought you had known so well, tilted his head and you could almost feel his gaze on you. You and Peli move towards the ship to take note of the obvious damage and you can’t help but cringe when you finally see how bad of a shape it is. 

“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were in a shootout  _ and _ you have a fuel leak!” Peli kept muttering to herself as she found more and more things wrong with the Razor Crest. You pointed out a few more things to her, still keeping your mouth shut. “This ship is a mess, the fact you were even able to land it! This is gonna set you back.”

“All I have is 500 Imperial credits.” The Mandalorian held the credits out and Peli wasted no time snatching them away from him. “That’s all you got? What do you think, Birdie?”

You shrugged and held a hand out, palm facing the ground as you tilted it from side to side. It was going to take a hell of a lot more credits to fix up the Crest, the fact that it was pre-Imperial making it even harder to find spare parts. 

“Well then, this should at least cover the hangar.”

“I’ll get you your money,” The Mandalorian said bluntly, but you could just about hear the desperation beneath the vocoder in his helmet. You were taken aback, had never heard him sound like that before. 

  
“Hmm, we’ve heard that before.”

“Just remember…”

“Yeah, no droids. I heard ya, you don’t have to say it twice.” Peli watched as the Mandalorian walked away before letting out a scoff. “Womp rat.”

Peli sat with the droids, starting up a card game with them, dealing you in without asking. You let out a sigh because she knew how kriffing bad you were at every card game. 

“What was that?” You asked, staring at the gangway of the Crest as a loud shriek echoed from the Crest.

“Oh so you  _ are  _ gonna speak today?”

“Sorry, I just-”

Peli cut you off, “Nope, I said I wouldn’t ask questions when I hired you and I meant it.”

You were about to thank Peli for being so understanding when you both hear a cry coming from inside the ship. Peli turned to the droids, “Shh, quick, grab my blaster rifle.”

“Peli, I don’t think you’ll need it.”

“Better safe than sorry, who knows what he has on that rustbucket.” The two of you inched closer to the Crest slowly, Peli with a trigger finger ready to go. “I’d stay in that ship if I were you!”

The tiniest creature you had ever seen started walking down the gangway, smoke and dust getting in its eyes. You let out a gasp, bringing up a hand to cover your mouth when it dropped open. Peli looked at you confused but lowered the blaster rifle, there was no way this...thing was a threat. The little thing let out a coo and looked at you both with its sad eyes. You couldn’t help but move forward to pick it up when it raised his hands in the air. 

“Oh honey, did he leave you all alone on the ship?” You asked it, cradling it in your arms before looking up at an equally confused Peli. You gave her a shrug, unsure what else to do. She moved closer and looked into the child’s big eyes and was stumped. 

“Would you like some food? Are you hungry?” The child seemed to like that idea, letting out a loud coo as his little stomach growled. Peli turned to the closest droid. “Fetch us something to eat, quick!”

“Maybe something with bones in it,” you added when you caught sight of his little teeth. The droid took off in search of food. “Okay, so here’s the plan, little one. I’m gonna look after you until the Mandalorian gets back.”

“And then I’m gonna charge him extra for watching you, see how that works?” Peli added before heading off to do some repairs, a new pep in her step at the thought of a bigger pay day. 

You couldn’t put the child down, just stunned. Was this why he had broken Guild Code? Was this tiny little thing the reason you could never go back home? If it was then more of the anger you had let fester inside of you dissipated, you couldn’t blame Din. As more time passed, the more sleepy both you and the child seemed to get which led to you telling Peli that we were going to give the child a nap. She waved you off saying that she probably would take one too, it wasn’t like you two could do anything for the ship without more credits.

You didn’t even notice when you fell asleep but a loud shout scared both you and the child awake. You let out a quiet shriek and the combination made the child start crying. “Hey, hey, hey, it’s okay. I”m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Where is it?” You heard the Mandalorian growl to one of the droids and you walked as fast as you could to where he was. 

“He’s right here, now keep your voice down. He was taking a nap,” You tried to keep your voice steady, not only to calm the child down but also to still your beating heart. You bounced the kid in your arms a few times, staying light on your feet in order to sway a little as you tried to shush him. The Mandalorian tilted his helmet at the sound of your voice but then he realized that you were still holding the child. 

“Give him to me.” He pointed at you threateningly, or at least you supposed he was trying to be threatening. It wasn’t going to work since you were so annoyed with him right now. 

“No. You can’t just leave a child alone on a ship like that!” You didn’t mean to raise your voice but you did as you pointed your own finger at him. “I can’t believe someone would trust you enough to have a child with you.”

“You don’t know me.”

“Oh I know more than you think I do,” You said, glaring up at him and hoping that you were making eye contact so he knew how serious you were. 

“What’s going on out here?” Peli asked, rubbing sleep from her eyes but alert nonetheless. 

“Mando’s back. And he woke up the baby.” You said your last words with a glare towards that kriffing rustbucket. 

“Oh well, while you were gone, I started the repair on the fuel leak while Birdie here watched the kid.” Peli gestured towards you but you paid her no mind as you made sure the kid was okay. “There were a couple of setbacks that I want to talk to you about.”

Peli kept going on about the repairs, how they took longer without the droids or your help since you were preoccupied with the child he hadn’t warned you two about. He walked into the ship and you moved back over to Peli, unsure what he was doing. He came back down with a bag and looked at you both.

“We figured you were good for it since you have an extra mouth to feed,” you said, no longer worried about speaking in front of him. He once again tilted his head at the sound of your voice. 

“Thank you.” He said before walking away. You were, once again, stunned at how rude he was being. First he leaves a child alone on his ship, threatens you when he realizes you’re holding the kid, and now he’s just going to leave again. You shot a look towards Peli before you followed after him, kid still in your arms. 

“You know it takes a lot for Peli to keep those droids powered up, right?”

“Hey, Mando, what do you think? Not too shabby, huh?” A new voice spoke once they were out of the spaceport. You rolled your eyes at the sound. Calican. 

The Mandalorian gave the speeder bike a once over, looking over Calican in a way that made it obvious he wasn’t impressed. “What? This isn’t Corellia. Hey, Birdie, still looking good.”

You rolled your eyes at him before turning around to head back inside of Peli’s shop. Those brief seconds of speaking to Toro Calican were more than enough for you. You heard the speeders take off and knew they probably wouldn’t be back until later. 

“Well now that we’re all awake, let’s get some more repairs done,” Peli said, already getting ready to do so. You joined her, placing the child on one hip in order to pass her any tools she may need. The suns went down and there was still no sign of the Mandalorian or Toro so you and Peli just kept working. There was nothing else to do. But even repairs couldn’t take forever and soon enough it was just you and your thoughts. 

With no sight of either bounty hunters everyone decided to head in for the night, you kept the child with you since you knew Peli already had her hands full with the droids that were like her own children. Morning came quicker than you were prepared for knowing that the Mandalorian and Toro would probably be back soon. 

Part of you knew you couldn't wait for the Mandalorian to leave the planet but another part of you, the younger and dumber part of you wished that he would recognize you before he left. You didn’t know what that would do for you, it wasn’t like he could do anything. You were  _ dar’manda  _ now, you could never be together again, no matter how much you missed him. 

“Hey, Birdie, I’m gonna head out to the cantina for a bit. Wanna come?” Peli came out of her room, having changed into a slightly cleaner jumpsuit. 

You looked down at the child in your arms before looking back up at Peli. “I’m not taking a baby to a cantina.”

“Suit yourself, and if that Mandalorian comes back while I’m gone, make sure he pays before he leaves.”

“Got it, have fun and don’t drink too much.”

“What are you, my mother?” Peli replied shortly but with a smile on her face as she left. You shook your head, a smile on your own face as you looked down at the child. 

“Looks like it’s just you and me, kid.” 

“Hey, Birdie.” You flinched at the sound of Toro’s voice from behind you and spun on your heel to face him. Your brow furrowed when you noticed that he was alone. 

“Toro? Where’s D-- Mando?”

“About that, put that thing on the ground before I shoot you.” He was aiming his blaster at you before you could even blink.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me. I really don’t wanna shoot you, you’re too pretty to die.”

You weighed your options and knew that it would best to listen to him and put the child down before making your move. So you did, placing him on one of the empty fuel drums that you and Peli used as a table. 

“I said the ground, are you stupid?” Tora asked as he moved towards the child which is when you moved. Faster than he could react, you rushed forward and hit him with your shoulder, knocking him off balance. He didn’t lose his grip on his blaster, unfortunately, since you hadn’t been able to hit him on that side but you took advantage of his being off balance. You rolled forward and grabbed a spanner as you got back up on your feet and rushed towards Toro again. You pushed him against the Crest, hitting him with the spanner several times before he finally grabbed your arm and held it out to the side, letting you throw a punch with your other fist. You dropped the spanner without meaning to but you had another idea.

You grabbed his blaster, spinning away from him in an attempt to get him to let go of it, even throwing your head back to headbutt him. He wrapped his arms around you and picked you up, dropping you onto another fuel drum. You groaned out in pain, wishing you still had your armor, but you didn’t let go of the blaster even as he picked you back up and you two fell to the ground. You forced him up, grip still hard on the blaster as you tried to break it on a piece of metal. Kriffing Toro and spending all his credits on high end bantha shit. You heard something pop and took the chance to punch him again, followed by a quick elbow to keep him down just a little while longer while you looked for another weapon.

Where was Peli? Or Din? Was Din even still alive?

You didn’t have time to ask yourself anymore questions as Toro grabbed you by the arm, dragging you to your feet, and throwing a punch at your face. Using your arm as leverage he tossed you into the side of the Crest and you turned just in time to block another punch with your arm before bringing your knee up into his side. You put your arms around his neck and flipped both of your bodies over and onto the ground. It was getting harder to catch your breath and you had no idea Toro had that much stamina when fighting. It had been too long since you fought anyone. 

You tried to get to your feet before Toro but he beat you to it, throwing several punches your way. You got up, kicking out at him just for him to grab your leg again. But it left you open to punch him yourself, one to the face and another to the stomach. He grabbed your arm, bringing up his own knee to your wrist causing you to let out a shout of pain. He put a hand around your throat but you brought your knee up to his crotch making him fall to the ground. He wasn’t unconscious though so you went for another kick, this one to the face, but he grabbed your leg and flipped you onto your back again. 

Even if you wanted to, you couldn’t get back up and you felt so weak all of a sudden. Maybe it was the blood gushing from your nose or the fact that you had now been dropped onto your back twice or the ringing in your ears. Either way, Toro had won. You could hear the child crying from where you had left him, it was amazing that you two hadn’t slammed into it during the fight. 

“Didn’t think you had that in you, Birdie.” Toro said as he forced you up. “That was stupid though, I was going to let you go but now...now you get to be my hostage.”

He pulled your hands behind your back, wrapping a cord around them tightly. You could feel it digging into your skin but there wasn’t anything you could do now. You willed yourself to not let him see you cry, cursing yourself for being so Maker damned emotional. “Why are you doing this, Toro?”

“Because that thing has the highest bounty I’ve heard of and Mando...well he’s worth even more with that armor.” The unspoken meaning behind his words hit you like a flash of lightning. 

“No!” You thrashed in his grasp, he couldn’t. No, he couldn’t take Din’s armor, he couldn’t be like you. He couldn’t. 

“Stay still or I’ll shoot you right now,” Toro growled out. You did as he said because you couldn’t help Din if you died before he made it back. He dragged you along as he went over to where you had placed the child and you winced as he picked him up roughly. As the hours passed, you grew more and more worried for Din. Toro was just getting angrier and you were scared he’d shoot first and ask questions never. You hoped Peli stayed at the cantina a little while longer. 

The suns had already gone down by the time he showed up and your breathing had gotten a little more labored. You were also sure that your back was bruised to  _ haran  _ and back. Toro stood a little straighter, pushed you forward a step before speaking. “Took you long enough, Mando. You missed a hell of a fight.”

He shoved his blaster into the middle of your back and you walked down the gangway and into the moonlight to see Din pointing a blaster at you. Really it was on Toro but you were in the way. He took half a step back and his helmet twitched to the side when he caught sight of your face. You were sure you looked a mess, Toro hadn’t even bothered cleaning the blood off your face. 

“I’m the one calling the shots now. Drop the blaster and raise ‘em.” 

Din did as he was told and placed his hands behind his head. Toro pushed his blaster into your back again before undoing the cord around your wrists. “Cuff him and don’t try anything.”

You let out a quiet growl of anger but ripped the cuffs away from Toro and moved over to where Din was.

“You’re a Guild traitor, Mando.” Toro said, before pointing a gun towards the child. Your hands tightened on the cuffs. “I’m willing to bet this is the target you helped escape.”

You moved to place the cuffs on Din’s wrists when a light clink caught your attention. You looked up and saw your potential saving grace. “Oh you smart man.” You couldn’t help but whisper, only loud enough for him to hear. 

“Fennec was right, bringing you in won’t just make me a member of the Guild, it’ll make me legendary.” Toro said. You pretended to shut the cuffs on Din’s wrists, shuffling them behind you as you walked out from behind Din to stand next to him. “Say, Birdie, one last thing before I shoot you.”

“ _ What _ ?”

“What  _ is _ your real name?” 

You didn’t have to answer, you could give Din a signal to set off the flash charger but you couldn’t stop yourself. “...Y/N.” You answered.

A delayed second later and Din pressed down on the flash charger and you shut your eyes before dropping to the ground and rolling behind a fuel drum. You would just get in the way now. You watched as Toro blindly shot at nothing while Din moved behind the crates to the left, popping back out in time to shoot Toro just as he turned. You rushed forward as Toro fell off the gangway, he had still been holding the child. 

“Stay back.” Din’s voice was a weird mix of stoic and emotional, the vocoder in his helmet making it sound off. 

“He had the child,” you said as Din leaned down to move Toro onto his back. There was no child. “Where did he go?” 

You didn’t mean to cling onto Din’s arm as you both looked in every direction. A quiet babble caught your attention as the child game out from behind a couple of baskets. Your heart slowed down from its rapid pace as soon as you saw him. “Oh hun, there you are,” you said as you picked him up. 

“You’re okay now,” you bounced the child a few times as Din grabbed something off Toro’s body. He came over to where you were and you pretended to be very interested in the child. 

“Y/N.”

“Yes.”

“What happened?” He asked you and you weren’t sure if he meant the wounds on your face, as he reached out to oh so lightly stroke your cheek, or if he meant the fact that you had broken the Creed you both took. 

“I tried to fight back, I lost.” It was true of both occasions. Din stared down at you as the child continued to babble. You still couldn’t look up from looking at the child. 

“Come with me.” That got your attention, head snapping up to look at Din like he had lost his mind. You knew he could be dumb sometimes, breaking Guild Code an obvious example, but this took the uj cake.

“I can’t.” 

“Why?”

“Din, you know why I can’t go with you.” The fact that he could see you,  _ really _ see you should have made it clear why you couldn’t go with him. 

“I don’t care.”

“You say that now but what about tomorrow, or next week, in two weeks? I’m  _ dar’manda _ .”

“And it’s my fault,  _ cyar’ika _ .” Din said as he moved forward, bringing his helmet down to gently rest against your forehead.

“ _ Don’t _ call me that.”

“Y/N…”

You let out a shuddery breath, blinking away the tears that threatened to rise. “ _ Please _ don’t make this harder than it needs to be, you need to find somewhere safe for the child, and I cannot go with you.” 

Din stared at you for one more long moment before reaching out to take the child, silently passing you the pouch he had taken from Toro. You opened it and let out a gasp, looking back up at Din in shock. He started to reach out again but stopped himself, nodded once, and turned to get back on the Crest. And you just watched him. Kept watching as the Crest took off, leaving you behind once again.

You wished you could go back to the beginning, when you had first met Din as kids with scraped knees and elbows from trying to do all the fight moves the adults could do. Growing up with each other, feelings changing until that first kiss in the pitch dark of someone’s room, you couldn’t remember whose it was. The first time you two snuck out of the covert to rent a room, tying blindfolds around your eyes in order to show how deep your love went for each other. 

But you couldn’t. You never could.

**Author's Note:**

> Mando'a Translations  
> dar'manda: the state of not being Mandalorian, not an outsider, someone who has lost their heritage, and therefore their identity and soul  
> cyar'ika: sweetheart, darling, beloved (all the fluffy pet names, also I think we all know this by now)


End file.
